Meant to Be Read online

  I throw the pillow back down on my bed and look at myself in the mirror. I look pissed. Actually, I look crazy. I’ve been running my hands through my hair so much that it’s starting to frizz and stick up in funny places. My eyes are slightly bloodshot, and my cheeks seem to have adopted some kind of permanent blush. My hotel room is starting to feel tiny and stifling. The air is thick and stale and sticky all at once, and I have trouble drawing good, deep breaths.

  I need to get a hold of myself. Now.

  I whip open my bureau and pull out my running shorts. I dress, tie my running shoes, and pile the frizz ball that is my hair into a messy bun. Then I fish around in my suitcase for my broken purse. In the inside zipper pocket, my hand closes around the plastic key card, the one Jason stole for me. I haven’t used it since the night of the party, when I told myself I wouldn’t be breaking any more rules. Boy, was I wrong.

  I open my door and poke my head out, glancing up and down the hall. No one. Then I step out into the hall, take a deep breath, and let the door shut behind me with a mechanical click. I test the key to be sure it still works, and I’m happy to see the little green light flicker next to the knob, indicating that all is good to go. I tuck the key into the pocket of my running shorts, then take off for the stairs.

  I run for blocks. For miles. For what feels like hours. I run until I’m no longer tired, until my legs don’t ache anymore, until I’m on autopilot. I run to the rhythm of my pounding heart. It’s late and dark, but there are plenty of people out, so I’m not worried about ending up in some abandoned back alley. No one seems to pay any mind to the short little American girl sprinting through the streets in neon-pink gym shorts.

  As I’m finally starting to relax, to ease into the rhythm of my run, my sneakers catch something. I stumble and then tumble to the ground. I get my hands down in time to avoid bashing my knee on the sidewalk, but my palms sting and I manage to scrape the skin off my left thumb.

  “Great,” I mutter as I pick myself up carefully. My left shoe is completely untied. I must have stepped on the lace. I was in such a rush to get out of the hotel, I forgot to double knot my laces.

  I bend down to retie my shoes.

  “Sweeeeet Caroline!”

  Even though his voice is slurry, I recognize it right away: Jason. I turn around and see him stumbling out of a pub.

  I ran right to Prohibition. Of course I did.

  I consider tucking my head and bolting. But then I see that he’s in bad shape. He stumbles over a trash bin in the street and laughs a little.

  Uh-oh. He is definitely drunk.

  He doesn’t seem to see me. He just rights himself and starts down the block. He’s stumbling a lot. I dart after him. I’d better make sure he doesn’t get into any more trouble. After all, I am, as Quentin so artfully put it, “his keeper or whatever.” I barely get five steps down the block before he whirls around on his heel and plows right into me.

  “Oh!” I yelp in surprise, trying to figure out what I’m going to say about why I’m following him from a bar and down the street in the middle of the night.

  “Wow, lucky me,” he slurs, “bumping into a hot girl like you.”

  It would mean more if his eyes weren’t clamped tightly shut. In actuality, I’m red and splotchy from my run. My old Newton North High T-shirt is soaked with sweat, and stray bits of my hair have escaped from my bun and are glued to the sides of my face and my forehead.

  Jason rubs his eyes as though he got maced.

  “It’s me, Julia,” I snap, trying to pull his hands away from his eyes, but he resists. When I let go, his left fist snaps back kind of hard and he ends up punching himself in the eye.

  “Ow!” he shouts, still rubbing his face. “Wazzat for?”

  “It’s for sneaking out of the hotel again without telling me,” I snap. I use the hem of my T-shirt to wipe some of the excess sweat from my face as I sigh into the damp fabric. “And for getting so wasted—alone—that you apparently can’t even open your eyes.”

  “Not alone! With friends! Lots of new friends …,” he says, trailing off, but I see no sign of these supposed friends around.

  “Where are these awesome new friends?” I ask.

  “Just left.” He shrugs. “And I’m leaving, too.” He takes a step down the sidewalk and promptly trips over his untied laces. I grab him before he can hit the pavement.

  “You’re not going to make it anywhere on your own in this condition,” I say. I lean him against the wall of a small sporting goods store, then drop down to tie his laces. Quentin was right. I really am Jason’s keeper.

  “What are you, my mom?” he slurs, leaning into a nearby lamppost. It comes out like “Whadda yous, my maaaam?” Apparently Jason has quite the Boston accent when he’s drunk.

  “Maybe you could use one,” I retort, and he drops his hands from his eyes, which are watery and red. “What happened to you, anyway?”

  “This guy bought me this shot and it was called a stuntman and when you do it you squirt a lime in your eye and it sounded like a weird idea but like the shot was free ya know and what kind of ugly American would I be if I turned down a free shot,” he explains in one long, continuous sentence, only stopping to take a big gulp of air.

  “Reaaally smart, kid ace,” I reply, throwing his arm over my shoulder and guiding him back onto the sidewalk in the direction of the hotel. I wish I had thought to bring cash, because then I could shove him into a cab and be done with it. Instead, sweating from head to toe, with legs full of lead, I have to practically drag Jason through the streets. Jason is skinny, but he’s still a head taller than me, which adds a lot of weight. Deadweight, which is now draped around my neck. As we’re inching our way forward, he stumbles again and again. I glance down at the ground to see if maybe his shoes have come untied, but they’re still in perfect double knots.

  “Lissen,” he says after falling with his entire body pressed into mine. “I was jus doin’ some recon, ya know? Like a spy.” He hiccups with his whole body, and I have to hold him tighter around the waist so he doesn’t face-plant on the pavement.

  “What are you talking about?” I grunt, making sure we’re clear of traffic as I gingerly lead him across the street. TEEN TOURISTS FLATTENED BY DOUBLE-DECKER BUS. That would be a lovely headline for the hometown paper.

  “I’m tawkin’ about the Globe, Julia,” he says like I know exactly what he’s talking about. “Iss not justa name of some stupid, fake old musty theater that’s not even the real one”—hiccup—“iss also this underground club. Ya know, like this cool place no one knows about! Maybe your dude, Chris, was there.”

  The more excited he gets about his inside info, the less steady he gets on his feet. He’s gesturing wildly, and his hand brushes up against my boob. My face burns and an electric shock goes from my belly button to my spine, but Jason didn’t notice, so I keep quiet and keep guiding him back toward the hotel.

  “Isnit great, Julia?” I look up and he’s beaming at me, happier than I’ve seen him in days. “We should check it out! Less go!”

  “You are not checking out anything besides your bed,” I say firmly. I take the next left onto Regent Street, a busy road populated by boutiques and restaurants. We’re only three blocks away. Almost home.

  He seems to be walking a little more steadily, so I loosen my grip. Jason takes that moment to lunge away from me and press his nose against the glass of a snooty-looking restaurant. A French name is painted in gold scroll across the window.

  “Look, Julia! Meat! I love meat!” He starts tapping on the window like it’s a fish tank, pointing toward a middle-aged couple in front of us who are feasting on what looks like a leg of lamb. They look pretty pissed, no doubt because they did not order a side of drunken teenage boy.

  I grab his arm and try to tug him up the street, but he resists me. I get closer, putting my arm around his waist again, and start to pull. I mouth an apology to the couple in the window. Then my gaze lands on something sequined sparkling just
behind the woman. My stomach drops into my toes. It’s a silver sequined bolero jacket, and it’s draped across the shoulders of a frizzy-haired woman who is sitting across from a tall, thin, balding man in a three-piece suit.

  Mrs. Tennison.

  I feel a dual urge to laugh and scream. Apparently it’s not all tea and crumpets for our chaperone. I don’t know what shocks me more: that Mrs. Tennison snuck out, too, or that she’s apparently getting more action than me.

  She’s waving her empty wineglass in the air and trying to get the attention of a waiter who is bustling his way toward the window, probably to command Jason and me to clear off.

  As soon as her head starts to pivot toward the window, I grab Jason by the back of his shirt and yank him to the pavement. Fortunately, he’s not in any condition to do anything other than crumple.

  “Hey,” Jason says. He tries to stand again and I pull him to the ground. “Watcha doin’?”

  “Resting,” I say.

  “Yeah, I need a rest, too,” he says. He leans his head on my shoulder and sighs. “This is nice.”

  “Yup,” I reply. I place my hand on his head to keep him from popping up into Mrs. Tennison’s sight line. “It’s nice, until our chaperone comes out and finds you drunker than a cast member of an MTV reality show.”

  “MTV sucks,” Jason mumbles.

  Even though I agree, I ignore him. “Now here’s the plan. You and I are going to scooch down the sidewalk until we’re away from the window. Then we’re going to walk back to the hotel, where you can go to sleep laying on your stomach like you’re supposed to, okay?”

  Jason nods rapidly. “You have great plans, Julia.”

  “It’s about time you noticed,” I mutter. I grab him by the hand and drag him with me while I crab-shuffle along the wall of the building. He shakes me off, then rolls over and crawls sloppily behind me. When we’ve moved away from the restaurant, I haul him back onto his feet, throw my arm around his waist, and propel us both down the last three blocks to our hotel. As we make our way through the revolving door, Jason pancakes himself to me, his chin resting on my head, his arms wrapped tight around me. He smells like grape gum, stale beer, and some kind of spicy cologne that makes me lean in for another whiff. I try to breathe through my mouth so I can stay focused on the task at hand. When we get all the way around, Jason lunges toward the lobby without letting go of me and we both tumble onto the plush red carpet. I say a little prayer that none of our classmates are around, and a quick glance tells me that for once my prayers have been answered.

  “Julia, help me,” Jason whines from the floor, his arm stretched up to mine as I scramble to my feet. I grab his hand, haul him up, then guide him straight to the elevator. I punch the button to summon the elevator so hard one of my fingernails bends backward, and I jam my finger into my mouth to dull the pain.

  “Are we home yet?” Jason mumbles.

  “Just about,” I reply. “Are you seriously this drunk?”

  “Eh,” he says, waving me off. “Iss not so bad. ’Specially now that you’re here. You’re the best buddy ever. The best!”

  “Well, I try,” I say. “Almost home.” I hope we can get upstairs before anyone sees us.

  The elevator arrives after what feels like an eternity. When the brass doors slide open, I say a silent prayer of gratitude that it’s empty. I shove Jason onto the elevator and leap on right behind him. Instead of plopping down on the plush red bench inside, Jason opts to drape himself back over me for the brief ride upstairs. I sigh, putting my arms around his waist so he doesn’t fall down.

  “Thanksh, Jules,” he mumbles into my hair.

  As the elevator doors slide shut, I shoot one final glance into the lobby … and see Sarah Finder. She’s by the reception desk, but she’s turned straight toward us. Her arms are crossed, her hip cocked to one side, and she’s giving me the evilest of evil eyes.

  “Excellent,” I mutter as the doors finally close and we’re gliding upstairs. As if my problems weren’t huge enough, now I’ve got Sarah to contend with. Again. I should wake up to some friendly texts from her tomorrow, I’m sure, and probably some crazy stares from the rest of my classmates. Wonderful. Life was much easier when my name was on some kind of gossip blacklist. Who knows what people are saying about me now? I need to ask Phoebe for a report from the home front. Thank God Mrs. T forbade Twitter updates on this trip.

  The tiny elevator is full of the smell of his cologne, whatever it is. Thankfully it conceals the smell of my sweat.

  As soon as the elevator reaches our floor, Jason bolts out and down the hall. Great, now he can walk on his own.

  I run after him, catching him right in front of his door. He’s pulling his stolen spare room key out of his pocket and trying to jam it into the little mechanical slot. He keeps missing, though, and trying to push it straight through the wooden door itself, the key card falling to the carpet at his feet.

  “Here, let me,” I sigh, but I bend down at exactly the same time he does and we bash heads.

  “Ouch!” Jason starts to laugh. “Your head is haaard.”

  My patience has almost completely run out, so I pluck the card off the ground, jam it into the lock, and push the door open. Jason stumbles in first. I hesitate for a second, then decide I should probably follow. I’m trying to remember what we learned in health class about “overconsumption.” I think I’m supposed to make sure he doesn’t sleep on his back.

  Inside, Jason falls onto his bed, freshly made, thanks to a visit from housekeeping. I head straight into his bathroom and grab a glass, which I fill with cool water. On my way out, I snag the small trash can from under the counter and place it next to his bed. Just in case.

  “So comfy,” he mumbles.

  “I know,” I reply, arranging the glass of water on his nightstand. “I can’t wait to get in mine.”

  “Is yours comfy like mine? I bet it’s not.”

  “I’m sure all the beds came from the same distributor and are thus identical in their …”

  “C’mon. Try it out.” He looks up at me through narrow eyes and pats the vacant spot next to him.

  “I don’t think so,” I say, my cheeks flaming. I point to the water. “That’s for you. Drink up.”

  Jason rolls over onto his stomach. “Don’t need it. Feel great.” His voice is slightly muffled by the piles of pillows all around him. “You’re the best. Have I said that yet? Because you are. The best.”

  “Yup, thanks,” I reply, brushing my hands off on my shorts. “Okay, well, good night. Don’t sleep on your back, okay?”

  I don’t get a reply. Within seconds, he’s snoring.

  I leave his key on the bedside table where he’s sure to find it in the morning, then reach into my pocket to fish out my own.

  Only there’s no key in my pocket.

  In fact, there’s hardly a pocket in my pocket: my fingers slide through a big tear in the lining and straight out the leg of my shorts. Oh God. My hands and feet are starting to feel a little tingly as the reality of the situation is beginning to set in.

  I don’t have my key.

  I close my eyes and can instantly picture the tiny white card lost somewhere in the streets of London along my twisting, turning running route.

  “Oh, frig,” I mutter to myself, and Jason snorts from his bed.

  “Just say the bad word, Julia,” he mumbles. Apparently he’s not quite asleep.

  I take a deep breath and think through my options. I could try to convince the front desk to give me another key, but there’s a fine for a lost key, and Mrs. Tennison will know that I was out of my room at (I glance at my watch) twelve o’clock at night. Great. I look back at Jason, sprawled almost spread eagle across the comforter. A little puddle of drool is starting to form on the pillow. There’s no way I’m getting in there with him.

  I grab one of the pillows from the pile on the floor and the decorative throw that’s draped over a chair in the corner. Since Jason’s bathtub, unlike mine, is locate
d in his bathroom, the foot of the bed is taken up by an oversized rug. I create a little makeshift bed and curl up for the night.

  But after only fifteen minutes, I know there’s absolutely no way I’m falling asleep. The rug has these little decorative knots in it that keep digging into my back. Plus I can’t get out of my mind the fact that I’m sleeping on the floor, which is where people walk with their dirty feet. I practically have feet all over me. So I just lie there, blinking at the dark ceiling overhead, knots digging into my back and feet crawling all over me.

  I can’t do this. But my only other option is … and I can’t … I won’t …

  I pop my head up at the foot of the bed to see that Jason has curled up on his side, taking up exactly half of the queen-size bed. There’s enough space that I could climb in next to him without actually touching him.

  I take a deep breath and ease onto the bed. He barely stirs as I lie down. I’m so tense that I worry I won’t be able to fall asleep, but within seconds exhaustion grips me and pulls me under into dream.

  Ah well. “the course of tru luv never did run smooth.”

  ;) —C

  A sliver of light is shining directly into my eyelids. It burns, and I try to pull the covers up over my head, but I can’t, because I’m sleeping on top of them. No covers? How am I not cold? I always get cold without covers.…

  My eyes creep open and I see a pile of dirty laundry on the floor in the corner. Why didn’t I fold my clothes last night? I squint harder at the pile. My jeans don’t have holes placed in them by Abercrombie & Fitch.…

  Then I remember where I am. I’m in Jason Lippincott’s room. And I know why I’m not cold. I’m lying on my side, my cheek nestled in a heavy feather pillow. My knees are bent and tucked up toward my chest. I feel warm and cozy, like I’m sleeping in a giant hug.

  Then it hits me: I am in a giant hug. The weight over my waist is an arm. And that’s not a pillow tucked up in my knees. It’s another set of knees. Ohmygod. I think I’m spooning. With Jason. I’m spooning with Jason, and his face is buried in my hair and I can feel his breath on my ear and OHMYGOD I’M SPOONING WITH JASON.